


if you just stay with me

by derekstilinski



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post Reichenbach, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 06:08:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derekstilinski/pseuds/derekstilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not what Sherlock pictured their reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you just stay with me

[[FOR THIS](http://derekstilinski.tumblr.com/post/43718823915/gini-baggins-watsonsdick)]

This is not how Sherlock pictured their reunion. He wanted to come back secure in the knowledge that John was finally completely safe, and see John sipping tea in his chair. Maybe he wanted him to cry a bit as well.

But this.

This is not what he wanted.

John is in the flat, but not drinking tea or watching crap telly or clicking away on his laptop, but slumped over in Sherlock’s chair, a pill bottle with tablets scattered all over the floor from where it had fallen from John’s hand.

Sherlock feels as if he’s been punched in the chest.

He’s running to him immediately, taking his face in his hands, “John?” No answer, fading pulse. John’s trying to kill himself. He’s succeeding. Sherlock’s body betrays him, panic squeezing his rib cage.

He quickly pulls John to the floor, holding the back of his head to lay him down, falling down next to him. He takes his phone from his pocket and dials quickly, putting the phone on the floor before touching John’s face again.

“Sherlock?”

“Molly! Get to Baker’s Street with an ambulance. John is committing suicide.” His voice shakes and he hovers over John, sliding a hand behind John’s head again to hold it up, desperately sticking two fingers down John’s throat, trying to get the drugs to come back up.

“Please. John, please.” He mumbles, pulling him up more, “John!”

John’s whole body jerks and he turns to the side with Sherlock’s help, vomiting onto the carpet. Sherlock holds him through it, shaking with fear, listening to John retch and sob.

“It’s alright now. It’s all okay. You are going to be just fine, John.” Sherlocks tells him soothingly, rubbing his arm and filing his fingers through his hair, leaning over him.

“S-Sh… No, please, no more.” John mumbles breathlessly, trying to curl up on himself.

Sherlock pulls him up into his arms, hugging him tightly, “You’re such an idiot. A huge idiot.” John doesn’t have the strength to hold onto him, just leans against him, trying to speak, “Shut up, you know what I mean. You’re okay, there’s an ambulance on the way.”

“So many nightmares,” John breathes out against his shoulder, “And I die hallucinating of you.”

“I’m not a hallucination, I’m here. You’re going to live. It’s all going to be alright again. Y-You… You and I solving crimes, blogging, forgetting our pants. Running, serial murders, afternoon tea.”

“V….Violin.”

“Yes, John. The violin, too. I’ll play you anything you want if you just stay with me.”

“A-A couple.”

“Of course we are. We’ll have dinner.”

Sherlock can hear the sirens, the screeching of tires as everyone pulls up. John’s eyes are closed but he’s smiling softly, hand weakly pawing at Sherlock’s shirt, hand loosely creating a fist in his fabric. Sherlock repeatedly tells him that he’s right there while people hurry up the stairs, while they get him out of the flat and into the ambulance, all the way to St. Bart’s where he refuses to let go of John’s hand for any reason.

When John comes to, he does cry. Then with as much power he can pull together, he goes to punch Sherlock. It’s deflected, Sherlock grabbing his wrist and telling him to settle down. And John listens, but only until he’s better.


End file.
